Saturday, June 27th, 2020. 8:56 PM.
Eileen and Mark at D’Angelo’s in 1988
Eileen: “Mark, you shouldn’t be dwelling on the past like you do – obsessing over your ex-girlfriend.”
Mark: “Eileen, you shouldn’t be harshly criticizing me like you do and telling me what not to do. And Eileen, maybe thinking of you all day every day isn’t obsessing at all.”
Eileen: “Why not, Mark?”
Mark: “It’s perfectly normal and reasonable to think of someone you’re in love with. And it’s also perfectly reasonable to have in my thoughts the one who is in my heart. I would have to disconnect my mind from my heart to stop thinking of you – and that would divide me in two. And that would be sick – even psychotic, perhaps.”
‘Try A Little Kindness’ – Glen Campbell.
Friday, June 26th, 2020. Eileen, yesterday, late in the afternoon, I walked all the way to South Bellingham, Massachusetts shopping plaza to buy a few things at Stop & Shop. Later, as I was walking through that shopping plaza parking lot on my way home, I stopped at the entrance to a storefront that may have been the location of the D’Angelo’s Sandwich Shop where you and I had sandwiches and ice cream sundaes in the late 1980s. It is a pizza shop, now. I peered through the glass door and remembered our time there. We sat close to that door. During our conversation back then, you asked, “Do you love me?” I replied, “I don’t know.”
Mark: “Eileen, I wish we could have that conversation again.”
Eileen: “Why, Mark?”
Mark: “I have a better answer, now.”
Eileen: “What is your answer, now, Mark?”
Mark: “Yes, Eileen, I do love you.”
Eileen: “Mark, let’s return to that sandwich shop, in the Spirit – right now. Do you see my left hand resting on the table, here in the restaurant?”
Mark: “Yes, Eileen.”
Eileen: “Would you rest your right hand on my hand, Mark?” So, Mark placed his right hand on Eileen’s hand on the table.
Eileen: “How does that feel, Mark?”
Mark: “Your hand feels warm, Eileen. And it makes me feel warm throughout my whole body.”
Eileen: “Do you like that feeling, Mark?”
Mark: “Yes, Eileen.”
Eileen: “Would you tell me more about that feeling, Mark?”
Mark: “It feels like the power of love is flowing from your hand into my hand and then throughout my body. And turning me on.”
Jennifer Rush – The Power of Love
Celine Dion-The Power Of Love (Lyrics)
Eileen: “Can you tell me even more about this feeling, Mark?”
Mark: “Yes, Eileen.”
Eileen: “I’d like to listen to you talking about your feelings for me, Mark.”
Mark: “Eileen, remember that book you edited while teaching 3rd-grade called “Turned on to Technology”?
Mark: “Well, our hands touching together as they are is turning on my technology.”
Eileen: “What are you saying, Mark?”
Mark: “Well, it’s like plugging a lamp’s electrical cord into a wall outlet — and just like that the light bulb begins to shine and then it gets warm – and eventually hot.”
Eileen: “Mark, am I electricity to you?”
Mark: “Yes, Eileen, you are electricity to me. And touching you allows the power of love to flow like a river from one place to another place. A spiritual channel, like a river bed suddenly appears between us and we become like the earth, like one planet in a celestial orbit around the Son/Sun Who gives His Love and His Light and His Spirit to us who are in the power of His Godly Love for His children.”
Eileen: “Mark, shall we leave the restaurant, now?”
Mark: “Yes, Eileen.” So, Eileen and Mark get up and walk out of the restaurant.
Eileen: “Mark, would you hold my hand and walk with me to my car?”
Mark: “Yes, Eileen.” And so, Mark gently takes Eileen’s hand into his hand; and they begin walking to Eileen’s Subaru. When they reach her car, they stop. And Eileen turns to Mark and says, “Mark, would you place your arms around me and hold me gently?” So, Mark puts his arms around Eileen and holds her gently for several seconds.
Eileen: “How are you feeling, Mark?”
Mark: “I’m feeling like I want to just hold on to you like this forever, Eileen.”
Eileen: “Why, Mark?”
Mark: “It’s just the most wonderful feeling in all the world to me, Eileen, to be holding you like this.”
Eileen: “Mark, I want you to kiss me, please – for about one full minute, if you can.” So, Mark kisses Eileen while continuing to hold her in his arms for about 88 seconds [He just couldn’t let go after only 60 seconds of being in heaven with Eileen].
Eileen: “How are you feeling now, Mark?”
Mark: “I’m feeling like I’m falling in love with you, Eileen – like my body and mind and soul and spirit and heart just want to meld into you so that we are becoming one being and one person, joined together /united forever. How are you feeling? And why are you doing this to me?”
Eileen: “Why are you letting me do this to you, Mark?”
Mark: “I just can’t stop what you’re doing to me. Eileen, do you love me?”
Eileen: “Yes, Mark, I love you.”
Mark: “Then why has it been decades since we’ve seen each other? Why do you get upset when I send a Mother’s Day card to you; and when I call and say, I love you?”
Mark: “Eileen, please answer me. How do you feel when our hands are touching? And just now while we were hugging, and during that long kiss? Is anything happening in your body and mind and spirit and soul and imagination – and your heart?”
Mark: “Eileen? I’m thinking of the title of a song by Leonard Cohen.”
Eileen: “What is the title?”
Mark: “Love Calls You by Your Name.”
Mark: “Eileen? . . . Eileen?”
Eileen: “Why is Love calling me, Mark?”
Mark: “Love is calling you to love, Eileen.”
Eileen: “And how am I to respond to Love, Mark?”
Mark: “Call him back, Eileen. Answer him.”
Eileen: “And what should I call him? What is his name, mark?”
Mark: “Try calling him, Mark, Eileen. If he answers, that’s his name.”
Eileen: “And if he answers me, Mark – then what?”
Mark: “Follow the way of love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts,” Eileen. -1Corinthians 14:1a. NIV.
Eileen: “And what is “the way of love,” Mark?”
Mark: “It is written for us, Eileen:
“But eagerly desire the greater gifts.
“And now I will show you the most excellent way. If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
“Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophecy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” -1Corinthians 12:31-13:13. NIV Study Bible.
Neil Diamond The Old Man Died
“The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the end of the world. In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun, which is like a bridegroom coming forth from his pavilion, like a champion rejoicing to run his course. It rises from one end of the heavens and makes its circuit to the other; nothing is hidden from its heat. The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes. The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the LORD are sure and altogether righteous. They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb. By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.”
“Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression.
“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.” -Psalm 19:1-14. NIV Study Bible.
Chariots Of Fire – The London Symphony Orchestra
Mark: “There is something I need help with, Eileen. It has to do with conversation. And the help can only occur in a conversation with someone who I’m really in love with.”
Eileen: “Why is that, Mark? Why does the conversation have to be with someone you are truly in love with?”
Mark: “The Son of God told us that God is a Spirit and that He seeks those who worship Him in Spirit and in truth. And I need experience with speaking truthfully to someone I am in love with.”
Eileen: “Why is practical experience needed to speak truthfully to someone you are in love with, Mark?”
Mark: “Well, being perfectly honest is not easy to do.”
Eileen: “Why not?”
Mark: “Well, for example: suppose you ask me, How are you?” I have to decide how accurately to answer that question. I mean, I could simply say: “I’m OK.” Even if I’m not feeling perfectly OK.”
Eileen: “Why would say you’re OK if you aren’t feeling OK?”
Mark: “Well, I just don’t know if it’s right to even be considering my own condition – maybe that’s being self-centered. And what if my “not feeling well” is only a matter of degree? Let’s say that at 68 I just don’t feel young anymore. Does that mean that when someone asks: “How are you?” I must be perfectly honest and reply about not feeling young? Or should I just say “OK”? –so I don’t have to go into the excruciating details of how I’m really feeling?”
Eileen: “Mark, it sounds like you just need a friend to talk with, a good friend; someone who you care about and who cares about you; and is willing to have serious conversations with you about these personal questions you like to ponder. Maybe you should look for a friend who likes to read your thoughts. You seem to really like writing; so, a friend who likes to read your writing might be just the one for you.”
Mark: “Eileen, when we were on the phone on May 27th, you mentioned that you like to read.”
Just When I Needed You Most – Randy Van Warmer (lyrics)
Eileen: “Mark, it’s really difficult to enter into a relationship with someone who is as full of thought as you are. Usually friendships start out more innocently and casually. And your quotations of Scripture also cause me to feel somewhat dreadful – like the Israelites hearing God speaking to Moses on Mount Sinai. Maybe you should look for a flying nun — or someone like that. I’ve heard she is so spirited that you could never put a dreadful feeling into her. She would just fly above your serious thoughts by the joy of God’s Holy Spirit.”
The Flying Nun 101 The Flying Nun
Mark: “Eileen, I still remember you telling me in 1974 that you considered becoming a nun; and that you went to Jamaica – which is in the Caribbean – the setting of the movie: The Flying Nun. Eileen, did you fly to Jamaica, or did you go by boat?”
On Eagle’s Wings (with lyrics)
you raise me up – josh groban with lyrics
WIND BENEATH MY WINGS (Lyrics) – BETTE MIDLER
Bette Midler – From A Distance (Official Music Video)
Silly Symphony Little Hiawatha
Eileen: “Mark, what is the meaning of these songs and movies you’ve posted, above?”
Mark: “Eileen, it might be easier for me to just not answer your question – to just be silent as some are; however, since it is written: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” – and since I’d like you to reply to my writing to you, then, I will try to answer the question. I like to add music videos. They are very heart-touching to me; and they are very entertaining; and they may give my visitors something pleasant to relax by; and to rest from the reading; and they enrich the blog with beauty; and they may be a great blessing to the heart.”
Eileen, thank you for your and your family’s hospitality at your parents’ cottage on Great Island, in 1974.
Love you, Eileen
Saturday, June 27, 2020. 8:45 PM.