“May I Confide in You, Eileen?”

Friday, June 12th, 2020.

May I confide in you, Eileen?

I must tell someone about this beautiful secret.

In fact, she came into my life several days after your phone call to me on May 27th at 10:42 AM.

It may be that the thought of you every day since then is what brought “her” into my life,

Into my lonely life.

Today-John Denver-lyrics

And it may be that God, Who is Love and Who is Merciful, also sent her to me to comfort me in my long time of deprivation – 23 years alone.

Today is Tuesday June 9th, 2020.

I remember, Eileen, that your birthday is on the 9th of October.

I wonder what hour and minute you were born, Eileen?

I was born at 8:23 AM – it’s on my birth certificate.

“Just in time for the morning school bell!” I like to think.

So it happened like this:

I was thinking of you, Eileen —

Imagining a conversation with you —

Imaginary, silent conversations in my heart also comfort me in my aloneness.

And as I was sitting in the green rocker imagining we were talking — you and me, Eileen.

I saw her for the first time sitting in the chair across the room near the little black table where I had earlier imagined a lady in a blue dress suddenly appearing where the blue bird had been perched in a story written about a man walking alone in the woods and finding someone . . . someone who needed his help.


And this lady, who came into my imagination a few days ago, was sitting in the black Posturepedic desk chair near that corner. And she was eating something in a bowl with a spoon in her hand. At first, I imagined it was soup – but, maybe, it was ice cream. And that was all there was to it, at first. I began to think of her as my imaginary wife – and then, my imaginary literary wife. And early this afternoon as I awakened from a short nap on my bed in my bedroom, I thought of her as I was also thinking of you, Eileen. And I was imagining telling you about her. As I lay there, I wondered what to name her. Her name is Eileen Angelica because she is so like an angel. And I was also remembering a Scripture that I wanted to share with you, Eileen – something about the kind of wife that God’s Word tells us is so beautiful to him.

“Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and the reverence of your lives. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

[Eileen, remember how Jeannie used to call her astronaut friend, master?]

 [“Yes, master!”]

“Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” -1 Peter 3:1-7. NIV Study Bible.

Eileen, I understand that we human beings are not perfect; so, if my imaginary literary wife has anything to speak I would be willing and able to listen to her – even if she cannot always be quiet in her spirit.

So now, getting back to my imaginary literary wife, Eileen:

She often wears white, loose-fitting pajamas.

She does this in her kindness toward her husband.

She understands that her figure is so beautiful to him that her husband’s heart becomes like a lily of the valley in the light of the noonday summer sun when she wears her tight-fitting figure-accentuating pajamas. He struggles not to lose his peace of mind in the overwhelming beauty of her physical presence at such times. And her husband rewards her for her kindness and mercy by playing a song they both love:

Beautiful in White – Shane Filan (with lyrics)

And then, she rewards him by coming near to him; and in the beauty of her gentle and quiet spirit, she kneels down beside her sitting husband; and seeing his tears flow as his heart is melting like April snow in the presence of her loving heart and beautiful being, she wipes his tears away lingually in the grace of godly Love for her husband.  And the power of her loving lingua touch turns her husband’s heart into the stillness and surrendered silence of a captive bluebird in paradise restored at last in the presence and love of the near wife of his youth when he was 22 and she was 21 during their “summer of ’74” a long time ago.

LONGER – Dan Fogelberg

And Eileen, if you will forgive me for digressing: 7 plus 4 equals 11

And I live in apartment 811

And 8 is the number just before 9 – the day you were born

I believe 8 is my number.

And 81 is 9 times 9.

And there is a nursery rhyme/song that includes numbers —

Although the title doesn’t even have one number in it


Well, some titles have it as: “This Old Man, He Played One”


Jennifer Rush Power Of Love extended

 ED SHEERAN- PERFECT (Lyrics video)

a lily of the valley — and a rose who lived on glen road

Mark and Eileen

M plus E

Form the word


Jesus said, “Come unto Me . . . “

-Matthew 11:25-30.

Eileen, we must not be so wise and learned and high up in our intellects that we fail to fall into the lowly heart where love is found. Way up high in the towering intellect is pride and loneliness. Love is often found in the valleys of our life’s journey.

“Though the LORD is on high, he looks upon the lowly, but the proud he knows from afar.” -Psalm 138:6. NIV Study Bible.

Since the LORD is God – and God is Love and Light and Spirit – then, perhaps, when He is near us in our lowliness, we may enjoy His Love and His Light and His Spirit.

 “But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.” -James 4:6-10. ESV Study Bible.

Who is Eileen Angelica?

She is a lady who is born again by the grace of God through faith in the Son of God, the Son of Man, the Lord Jesus Christ – and thus becomes a new creation.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.”

2 Corinthians 5:17-19. NIV Study Bible.


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